Finding your true self in a world full of endless possibilities and countless opinions is indeed a very daunting task. Knowing what you want in today’s world is the greatest gift you can give to yourself.
Why finding your true self is such a difficult task? The reason so many of us are dissatisfied with our job, lifestyle and relationships is because what we have is not in agreement with what we really want.
We know facts, figures, and details of every incident that is happening globally, thanks to the social media platforms. Yet, we fail to dig down the conflicts arising within us.
Finding your true self is the most important discovery you will ever make. When you realize who you are, you understand what you need to do. You then do not look to others to validate your actions and ideas.
For every successful story, there are thousand failure stories as well. Life is supposed to be as such but discovering yourself gives you the best areas to experiment with in the first place. Here listed below are some of the hand picked strategies that have worked for people who made it big in their lives.
1. Make friends with Silence
You need to be friends with silence if you want to discover yourself. It is in these moments of silence, you can hear your heart reaching out to you. It is understandably scary to be alone but is equally important to be in sync with your desires.
Take out time from your schedule, parties, and obligatory meet-ups and take the time to figure out what is it that will make full use of your gifts and help you find your personal legend.
2. Let go of your past
Let go of the past whether be it good or bad. You will not be measured in the present by the glories of your past. Similarly, do not let the failures of the yesteryears dictate your actions of today. Your past is the extra baggage that slows you down.
Finding your true self gets little difficult when your family, friends, and teachers have been feeding you with their opinions and their limiting beliefs. You are unique and the universe needs you as you are. When you understand that you are not your thoughts and beliefs, your true genius will be revealed.
3. What Makes You Happy?
As simple and banal as it may sound, the answer to this question will guide you on how to be your true self. This is important because in the words of Steve Jobs if you do not love what you are doing, you would eventually stop.
Most of us are motivated to pursue a job or activity with the sole aim to make monetary gains out of it. We pick up something that seems profitable and promises quick return and try desperately to be good at it. But, it might not be what we were designed and destined to be.
Remember that money is a by-product of your endeavors. If you carry out a task with perfection and deliver value to the people who are using your services, then money will follow.
But, it takes time to gain perfection in any field. Hence it becomes very critical that you choose to do something that makes you happy and which does not feel like work.
4. Process of Individuation
In her insightful article on Huffington Post, Dr. Gail Gross talks about the concept of Individuation. Individuation is the layered process of finding your true authentic self.
This process is about connecting to your inner voice and establishing a balance between the persona that you showcase to the world and the actual contents of your subconscious mind.
Read more on how to use subconscious mind for success
Dr. Gail further elaborates that instead of striving to find the difficult answer to who we really are, we tend to conform to the actions and behaviors which will be most accepted by people around us.
How often do you find yourself losing your cool to the situation at hand?
The answer to this question might give you a hint to the degree of conflict that resides in you.
Read the complete article here.
5. Acknowledge your comfort zone
The task of our subconscious is lifeward. It takes into account your beliefs and thoughts and those around you to shape your lifestyle. Your parent’s beliefs become your belief, your teacher’s version of you becomes your reality and your friends’ decisions become your actions.
Your subconscious records these patterns and creates your comfort zone. Whenever you try to do something new, you experience this sense of discomfort and anxiety because your subconscious tries to pull you back.
Try to break free of the masks that you have been carrying and define a unique identity for yourself.
Take a moment to get in touch with the power of your subconscious mind.
6. Finding your true self through Mindfulness
Mindfulness offers a ton of benefits other than the immediate physiological benefits such as reducing stress, anxiety, and sleep related disorders. it helps one to come out of the auto pilot mode in which we get trapped.
Mindfulness frees ourselves from the self limiting and damaging thoughts and beliefs and unwind ourselves to a totally rewarding experience.
Our society has cultivated a culture of thinking and that is great. All our discoveries and inventions are a result of the possibility thinking. But, what we are not taught is how to stop thinking.
In a melodious song, the position of the empty notes are just as important as the sound notes. Otherwise you get only noise. Similarly, the mindfulness training exercises create the necessary moments of peace, joy and blissfulness to manifest a perfect symphony in our lives.
I recently published a complete list of mindfulness training exercises for your benefit.
7. What are you decently good at?
This is the advice I got from Gary Vaynerchuk when asked about finding your true self. Most of us want to succeed in life but are not sure on what field to choose.
Pick an area that you are decently good at. Now, work on that craft till people start noticing and acknowledging your skills.
Create your identity in your field by hours and hours of relentless practice and don’t stop till you are done.
8. Don’t kill the messenger
Universe is always guiding you towards your destiny if you are aware and are listening. Now, this guidance will not be in the form a voice from the sky but from the people around you.
Give due importance to the feedback that you get from the people. Not all will be good but if the intent of the feedback is correct then it might reveal to us what we fail to see.
Also, it has been accepted in the world of psychology that motivation received from others is generally stronger than the intrinsic motivation. People close to us might see a spark in us that we do not know ever existed.
I was myself motivated by a friend to look beyond my job and identify my true calling.
Do not push back the feedback. Take them as such and filter out the stuff that you need to work on.
Don’t kill the message or the messenger!
9. Pursue the goals that are right for you
According to Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. from PsychologyToday, we should always strive to pursue the goals that are right for us. If we do not take up the goal that makes full use of our skills or reflects who we are as a person and what we are good at then we do not feel content and at peace even if we achieved our goals.
I learned this first hand. I signed up for a B.Tech course in computer science because it seemed a logical path after my high schooling. This decision was also in line with what my parents wished for myself. After completing my course, I got into Intel ( a dream company for any software engineer).
Somehow, after a couple of years, I started getting this feeling of discontent ( no complaints from the professional front ). It was supposed to feel good but somehow things did not looked that way. It was then I found my true calling.
Look beyond the obvious. What worked for others might not work for you.
10. Don’t beat yourself up
We get trapped in our cultural beliefs and societal norms and that is how we identify our value and self-worth. The comparisons start at an early age at the school where we begin our first race. We get compared at academics, sports, public speaking and other extra curricular activity.
You try hard to keep pace with everyone else but in vain. This is how we lose touch with our innate talents and perfection and in the process become something else entirely.
You start questioning yourself and doubting your abilities.
Whenever you feel that you do not fit, always remember that you did the best you could and this is not your fault. One should not expect a fish to climb a tree.
Read a very effective list of Positive Affirmations for Self Esteem
11. Finding your true self: Deepak Chopra Meditation Techniques
Deepak Chopra suggests Meditation as an effective way to connect to your true self. Meditation creates a deeper level of awareness of the body and its energies. We start to differentiate ourselves from our body, mind and its thought patterns.
Meditation connects us with our higher purpose.
It is not that you do not know peace, joy, happiness or how to be yourself. It was all effortless when you were a child.
Meditation fills your soul again with love, peace and a sense of acceptance of your self. It helps rediscover our unconditioned and true self that we seem to have lost in the tunnels of the time.
Check out the complete article here .
Most of us do not take up the space the universe intended for us which is why when we see someone realizing their goals, we feel that it is remarkable. People who are frightened to be themselves end up working for them who aren’t.
Your only job till the time you are on this planet is to be as good at being You as other’s are at being themselves.
Hope you enjoyed the steps on finding your true self. Remember to just be yourself because when you are yourself, You are Awesome !