Why forgiveness is necessary? As I sit back and relax on a slow Sunday afternoon listening to Coldplay, the words start ringing in my ears, “Nobody said it would be easy, no one ever said it would be this hard.”
Life is hard. It is a series of episodes of satisfying your heart, getting hurt, and picking yourself again. It is a very taxing cycle and hence forgiveness is critically important if we want to move ahead in our lives.
It especially gets difficult if you are working on your dreams because the chances of being rejected, cheated and being emotionally drained are all the more.
You are constantly haunted by the feeling of failure and of the unknown and on top of that if we are carrying the weight of the grudge for someone then it makes our life all the more difficult.
It is important that you do not bear any grudge in your heart otherwise you live with the weight of burden every day.
It creates unnecessary tension and heaviness and no matter how hard you try to focus on something else, the pain keeps stinging.
It is all the more difficult if someone close has wronged you.
Someone whom you trusted, left you, hurt you with their words, broke their promise or backstabbed you. It happens to all of us.
However, we should be quick to forgive. I know this sounds stupid because all the logic dictates that we hurt them back, punish them and make them realize that they have made a mistake.
But, remember, relations are like a castle made of playing cards. You have to balance your every move carefully. It takes a lot of time to build it but only a gentle blow can bring it down.
Forgiveness is aptly defined in the Wikipedia section. It goes like this –
Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well.
Forgiveness is the virtue of the Strong
Forgiveness is not the trait of the weak. It takes courage to look past the wrongdoings of others and forgive them.
It is the strong ones who understand that their relations are far more important and valuable than any argument.
Be strong and choose not to dwell in the past with your heart filled with anger and hatred.
You are God’s reflection here on earth and thus by nature are filled with Love. Accept this, and come back to your natural state.
Restore the balance of your life by forgiving others. Do not be a prisoner of the past. This is the only way you can move ahead in your life.
Many a time it is our ego or self-esteem that comes in the way.
Personally, I have observed that whenever I took the initiative of burying the hatchet with a person, the person appreciated the move and was himself seeking a way to apologize and just my initiative to sort things further strengthened the bond we shared.
I have seen sons and fathers, brothers and best of friends ending up in a ‘cold war’ over a disagreement.
Understand that life is very precious and at the same time very unpredictable. We do not have many well-wishers and people who will care for our well being.
So, if you have found someone who is close to you, then go all the way to mend the gaps. Remember, you are doing this for yourself.
The art of forgiving yourself
The most important piece in the art of forgiveness is self forgiveness.
We are often very hard on ourselves blaming ourselves for the mistakes, failed relations, and missed opportunities.
We punish ourselves by carrying the weight of the guilt, indulging in overeating and drinking.
It does not have to be this way. Yes, you tried hard, gave your best shot and failed. So what, life is not practical, living is not practical.
Give yourself some credit by pulling this off so far. Appreciate and celebrate the small victories that you have had in the process. Acknowledge that you have become a better person in the journey.
Forgive yourself of the failures, of the mistakes in the past, of the commitments you couldn’t keep and move ahead with your heart filled with faith.
Be aware of your faults but also your virtues. The only reason a lion is not afraid of other animals in the jungle is because it knows its strength.
A simple prayer to exercise Forgiveness
I usually do not write about prayers and religion but on this occasion, I am tempted to do so. Never before I read something that had brought tears to my eyes. The words below had a profound effect on me and I hope some of you might be able to benefit from this as well.
Put your heart into the words below and read it aloud if you may.
“ I free myself from hatred through forgiveness and love. I understand that suffering, when it cannot be avoided, is here to help me on my way to glory.
I forgive the tears I was made to shed,
I forgive the pain and the disappointments,
I forgive the betrayal and the lies,
I forgive the slanders and intrigues,
I forgive the hatred and the persecution,
I forgive the blows that hurt me,
I forgive the wrecked dreams,
I forgive the still-born hopes,
I forgive the hostility and jealousy,
I forgive the indifference and ill-will,
I forgive the injustice carried out in the name of justice,
I forgive the anger and the cruelty,
I forgive the neglect and the contempt,
I forgive the world and all its evils.
Love yourself and forgive yourself. Do not let the misfortunes of the past weigh on your heart. Instead of pain and resentment, choose understanding and compassion. Instead of rebellion, choose the music in your heart. Instead of grief, choose to forget and instead of vengeance, choose victory.
This prayer has been taken from Valkyries